I like to support other enlightened singles bloggers, and advocacy groups that care about single people such as Unmarried Equality by getting the word out about their work. When we make it clear that the million-plus single people just counting those in the US are not going to stay quiet anymore, that we are not going to let matrimania and singlism go unchallenged, we are chalking up victories. Now go ahead and share your own success stories, and as with the previous post , please return again and again as you think of new things to add.
I, too, am compulsive about keeping backstock of everything I routinely need. When I have to special order something and it's not perishable or very large, I get a year's supply at a time. My biggest single triumph is mastering the solo vacation. I take the most amazing bike trips!
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I ride alone and stay in hostels wherever they are available, and seek out offbeat accommodations where there aren't any hostels. I saw 4 existing friends and made several new ones. I, a middle-aged woman in cycling gear, joined a hip young something from a Canadian First Nation in dancing to Psy with total abandon in a ferry terminal washroom. It was a magical, momentary connection that I will never forget. The trip was full of such moments. Never at any point in the trip did I wish for a companion on the road; being alone made me approachable and interesting, and the friends just showed up.
I rock the solo vacation. I think the things I do we'll as a single person is travel. When I was in my 20s I took a tour of Southeast Asia. It was a group tour through a travel agency. I was 1 of the only single people people in our tour group.
Everyone else was coupled. When our tour guide was not around, I was the quasi tour guide in the context that I was the translator. Everyone else was. Granted, a few months before my trip, I studied the languages of the places I was going to go. No one else did. I do like my solitude and I've always lived by myself once I left home. I've never needed nor had a roommate. I find that I'm organized enough that I don't need anyone else to remind me of things to be done. I find the key is to develop good habits, to know when things need to be done so you automatically do them.
It also helps to be able to do a wide variety of activities yourself, such as cooking, cleaning, or home repair. I could get other people to do these things for me but that would be more expensive and unnecessary. It also helps to have a broad range of interests.
I always have at least two or three books from the library, both fiction and non-fiction, around for reading. I've picked up new hobbies, like birdwatching. And I enjoy physical activity, such as hiking and bicycling. It also helps to try new things and activities. Last year I joined a new church that had a group specific to childfree adults. I got to meet some interesting people, though ultimately I decided they weren't quite right for me.
But it was a good experience and taught me about what I look for in other people. I'm involved in some community-based computer programming. I have no formal training in computer programming, web design and IT. I'm an older single woman.
The programming community is not a very welcoming group they think they are but they aren't. The other programmers are young men, they are introverts and they are competitive. They barely talk to each other much less an older woman. It sometimes makes my skin crawl when I watch them one-up each other and get a little nasty to new people.
I rarely see women my age attend a programming function. The young women who attend show up in groups, isolate themselves and leave as soon as they can. Showing up alone gives me an edge.
I can start conversations with other people who also show up alone. I'm not afraid to ask lots of questions because I'm not part of a couple, I have nobody to embarrass except myself. Because I operate solo people I'm approachable to provide assistance and encouragement to others. It's taken a long time but through the work I've done regardless of my gender and my age, the projects speak for themselves. Paying the bills, starting my second business, on track to own my house out right in 6 years.
I go out for dinner alone at least once a week. I make new friends when I can but loving my time alone means I'm selective about who I develop relationships with; I am a really good friend. One thing I've been noticing is I take better care of myself than a lot of people, single or married. I exercise more, deal with injuries aggressively, go to bed at I weigh less than I did in high school.
This is an odd one, but I also have a bidet. When you are hurt or sick and unable to bathe or shower for whatever reason, the bidet takes care of the essentials lol. Something that i'd like to master is the art of solo dining. There are some interesting restaurants in my area that I'd like to try. I think my worry is that while waiting for food there's usually a good waiting time.
When out with others you fill that time talking and so time goes by quickly. But alone, what can I do? But, mental health and life stability are routes to a healthy relationship. We must learn to quell the voices within us that lead us to the desperate feelings that lead to poor choices. Life is too short, we cannot let our egos trip up the joys awaiting our spirits. This made him as strange to others as they were to him.
Seeing the self-harm people created with their own overthinking, Scott dedicated part of his life to helping others live with greater awareness. He is currently a writer, speaker and mindfulness instructor based in Edmonton, AB, where he finds it strange to write about himself in the third person.
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Search Search for:. But that is not the case for the people who hold more positive ideas about relationships.
Singles, What Are You Already Doing Successfully? | Psychology Today
Scott McPherson. Smart Phone Disconnections. Like this: Like Loading Everyone knows that single person that's just kind of unicorny. They seem to be oozing confidence, they've got an amazing social life, shiny. Singles of the world: we have to stop waiting to live our lives simply because one day we might get married. Live out the adventure of your life. Strong, happy, successful single people who resist the relentless Maybe they have one special person in their life, but that person is a close.